Time moves quickly

It is really crazy to think that the boys could be here very soon. It could happen in the next couple weeks. These nine months went by so fast. With time going by so fast, I need to make sure I make the best of each moment of our children's lives.

I hear a lot of parenting advice in books, podcast, birthing class etc that no one's the perfect parent. "You WILL make mistakes," they all start off with. I understand, I'll make mistakes. But why does it feel they set you up to fail? Maybe that's just my take. I really want to be the best parent I can be. I think starting parenting advice by saying "you'll make mistakes" is the wrong approach. Everyone makes mistakes, how do I be a good parent? I want to be the best parent I can be and make the most of the time.

This coming weekend (well, actually Monday) marks Joy and I's first wedding anniversary. Not to gush too much but what a year! Within a year, we bought house, got married, and went on one amazing honeymoon across the US and now we're having children! Couldn't have been a better first year of marriage and my love for her grows bigger and bigger each day.

In other news: the c-section has been scheduled for June 7th if they don't come out sooner!

The preparations continue. On Monday, we installed the car seats. Joy brought out stuffed animals to test the works. We had some issues because the car seats are also baby carriers that latch into a base and handle is so large that we kind of need to pull the driver and passenger seats up. It's not bad but it will take a little bit to get used to because Joy and I are tall people. Next we need to finish packing our hospital bag.

Getting Prepared

It appears we are pretty close to being prepared. The day after we found out we're having a baby, we took down the computer room to make it the baby'a room. My parents had bought the baby a crib before our first ultrasound. After the ultrasound, my parents got us a second crib. We bought a stroller that came with a car seat.

We made many trips to the thirft store to get a dresser, a book shelf, and various other things. We even went to buy kids books before we got pregnant.

Last week, we had our baby shower. We got more prepared by getting high chairs, a single stroller, and a double stroller. We also got tons of cute clothes, oneseys, and stuffed animals.

The baby shower was a lot of fun. We had a lot of yummy food. Played baby bingo, one person who got multiple items made of a row of their items. That was the first present we opened and she ultimately called out "bingo."

Joy made really neat necklaces as baby shower gifts. She made more than their was people there and when she went to get the left overs, most were gone. So they were a hit! It was neat seeing people wear her necklaces, especially the other kids at the party.

We went home and went through all the presents and wrote thank you cards. It was really nice of everyone to contribute. The day after, we headed to babies-r-us, target, and wal-mart to get the rest of the essentials that we hadn't bought or gotten yet.

After all of that, we had our third ultrasound. Jasper was head down and Jacob was head up. The ultrasound tech let us see Jasper with the 3d ultrasound. It was really neat. Jacob's head wasn't facing out, so we couldn't see his. She said "maybe next time."

First Birthing Class

Last week, we attended the first of five birthing classes. The class was pretty good. Most of the lecture, we had already learned from various sources but we did learn a few things we didn't know.

During the yoga-like part of class, I hurt my back trying to relax. I'm not exactly sure how I did it but I think it happened when we had our eyes closed and stretching our necks.

Then I got angry when we were going through the visual meditation. Our instructor was guiding us through a visual (or I should say mental) meditation at the beach. She had the sound of waves playing off her laptop as she was trying to guide us. But I noticed she was out-of-sync with the waves. She'd say the waves are getting bigger but as she'd say that the waves would be going down on the sound. After I noticed this, I couldn't concentrate any longer.

I guess this just says yoga is not for me or I am just way too tense and nervous for it. In that case maybe I need intense yoga therapy.

I do feel a bit rotten that before we did the massage part of class, the instructor said to the women that "I want you to massage your partner how you want to be massaged." I secretly thought "yes!" and tried to guide her to the part I hurt.

Aside from that, I think her massaging me helped me understand better how she likes to be massaged. For some reason though, the part where I messaged her didn't seem as long as when she massaged me.

I did enjoy class! It was neat to see there is another couple expecting twins. At the end of the class, we'll get to take a tour of
the hospital. People watching in class is always fun too. I do think we're right in the middle in terms of ages. There's one 18 y/o and everyone else looks to be in their 30's. Oh and if you want to get in the in-crowd in terms of dads, you should like the Buckeyes and have a good story about them. I do not.

I think the class will get much better as the classes go on. Later on, we should learn more about taking care of the baby and taking care of partner during and after the labor. I hope they go into c-sections quite a bit since it seems likely that she will have one.

Nesting for the outdoors

Spring has arrived! Or at least approaching in a couple of days. Which is time to get the outdoors ready for the boys and for summer.

When we bought our house, the backyard was covered in snow. We didn't realize until right before we moved in, we had a small person-made pond. Last summer, we tried to maintain it. We cleaned it out and bought fish. But as fall approached, we thought about kids and our inability (or desire) to maintain the pond. So we tore it out and filled it with leaves and sticks. With the thought of "in spring we'll fill it with dirt." Saturday is the first day of spring and the day we'll have 3 cubic yards of dirt delivered.

Joy and her mom removed the walkway to the pond and made a garden out of the rocks. They moved the plants that were by the pond.

In the summer time, we'll definitely want to spend time outside. So we're working on our patio. We have an enclosed patio, thanks to screens, however our dog didn't see them one day and walked right through one... And then another.... So Joy took down all the screens. We bought new screens (heavier screens) and new wood boards. We got paint and I'm gonna have my dad help with the electricity.

To give ourselves extra privacy, Joy had the idea of moving a couple of the trees from front yard by the patio. So far, we got one of them moved and working on the other one.

Anyway the patio will be great place to chill while the boys are sleeping too. Their bedroom window is right inside the patio. That will make it extremely easy to see and hear them.

We were very fortunate to get a house on a half acre of land in the city. Now that we've gotten rid of the pond and the walkway. The boys will have plenty of room to run around, have water balloon fights, and be kids. Even though, I'm not much of a sports fan, I'm looking forward to putting in a basketball hoop for them but that will be much later.

Kickin'!

There are a few things that make you feel your baby (or in our case babies) is real before they're born. Of course the big one is the ultrasound. Luckily enough, since we're having twins, we'll be seeing our babies for the third time at the end of the month! But another way is to feel the baby kick. And that's what I felt last week.

We were sitting on the couch and Joy said she felt them moving. I put my hand on her stomach and felt them moving around. It kind of felt like they were tickling the palm of my hand. I responded by rubbing her belly. Now that's one thing. The other thing is to actually see them move. We watched as they moved around her belly. I responded by rubbing her stomach again.

Now whenever she says they're moving, my response is to watch and feel. It makes me really happy to know they're in there moving around. I can't wait to actually hold them in my arms.

I'm curious to see how much they'll kick and how much we'll get to see them move as they get bigger. On the same token, I hope they're not as abusive as apparently I was to my mom. She said I use to kick her in the rib.

On a side note, don't rub too much of the belly. Adding rubbing to an already nauseous mother isn't too pleasing.

Fathering

This blog came about during a conversation with my wife about being a father. After finding out we're gonna have a baby and then more so when we found out we're having twins, I realized there is a lack of info on fathering a child and less on twins. It seems during the day, the father wasn't much involved in the parenting of a child and a father wanting to be involved is something new. I could be wrong, but from the lack of info out there, it seems like it.

Looking around the net, I found it somewhat difficult to come across a decent fathering website. The ones I've found contain mostly broken links (usually for the info I'm mostly looking for) or contains old articles that pretty much sound like common sense or seem to be directed at how a deadbeat father could be a caring father. At least that's what I got out of some of these articles. Also many of the "father" websites seem to be dedicated to the legal rights of the father.

You won't find many organzations dedicated to parents of twins either. I recall reading somewhere when we found out we were having twins to look into a twin organazation for informaton. I thought it would be a good idea to see if we have any around us. The closest one I could find is an hour away and it's designed for mothers. I don't understand why they don't open it to include fathers. Maybe rename their organazation "National organazation of PARENTS of twins?"

I have a disadvantage as I haven't looked into "parenting" books more. The books we've gotten from the library have mostly been pregnancy books. I'm not sure if there's even a book out there that deals with the raising the twins. We had a hard time locating twin pregnancy books in the store (one popular book chain only had two.) We got a lot of books from the library but mostly seem to deal with pregancy to one year. The pregnancy books usually offer one chapter to the father.

While all these mediums do give useful information. I do appreciate the lists that are in most pregnancy books and learning about the development of the baby.) The info listed on webmd and in "what to expect when your expecting" have been very helpful. I just feel like there should be more out there on parenting (including the father).

Feel free to let me know of any good books, websites, or organazations.

Brief Introduction

I am a soon-to-be father of twin boys. My wife and I found out last month at our first ultrasound. We thought it was possible to be having twins (mother-in-law is a twin.) But I thought since the doctor didn't find two at the regular doctor visits, I thought we were just having one. Finding out was amazing! We had to think of another name... Which we decided on the car ride after the appointment to show my Mother-in-law the pictures.


Jasper (a) and Jacob (b) at 19 weeks.
(...we might change that if Jacob has green eyes)

Expected due date is June 13th, 2010. Right now, we're at 25 weeks which "What to Expect" iPhone app says they're the size of eggplants.

I will update this blog frequently about the pregnancy, raising twins, family, and various thoughts and concerns.